Exercise Addiction: The Dark Side of Fitness

With my hands covered in blisters and talcum powder, achy joints despite being aged fifteen, and thought racing through my head, I sit and cry in the gym changing rooms. The world is ending. Despite exercising for two hours straight, I didn’t work hard enough. Not enough sweat, not enough calories burnt. Now, my mum is offering to pick me up from the gym so we can stop by Pizza Express on the way home, which implies walking 8.75km instead of the minimum daily goal of 10.9, and eating unknown calories. ‘I can’t, I have homework,’ I text back, despite knowing the evening will be spent doing jumping squats in my room, not preparing for an upcoming Physics test.

This was the reality of exercise addiction for me, a disorder which isn’t recognised by the DSM5 but impacts around 3% of those who exercise on a daily basis. Prior to acquiring a positive relationship with fitness, it overwhelmed my life and nearly ended it. I want to speak about this issue because while anorexia is frequently discussed on the internet and in the media, exercise addiction (which often, though not always, accompanies another eating disorder) is seldom mentioned. The obesity epidemic, and the tendency of the majority of the population to neglect exercise rather than overdo it, explains this yet countless anecdotes emphasise the relevance of excessive exercise in our society.

Exercise Addiction recovery
It has taken a lot of effort to find balance, but every ounce was worth it.

Honestly, I struggled with starting this blog post without tearing up. Overcoming the addiction was perhaps the hardest thing I had to do, and back then I believed it would kill me before I’d scrambled back to balance. I will attempt to keep this coherent, ensuring the post raises awareness, outlines my story, and helps anyone whose relationship with exercise is less than optimal, but I cannot promise the absence of garble due to the emotive nature of the topic involved!

So, what is exercise addiction?  Continue reading “Exercise Addiction: The Dark Side of Fitness”

My Morning Routine 2017: Healthy but Realistic

Hi dears!

I understand the appeal of continuously hitting the snooze button and hauling yourself out of bed fifteen minutes before you’re supposed to leave. I understand the appeal of skipping breakfast (but at the same time I don’t, because honestly, the first thing I think about when I wake up is food #noshame). However, given that you’re able to fall asleep at a reasonable time, allowing yourself plenty of space each morning to pursue a routine can help with emotional wellbeing enormously, given how much you can adapt and tailor this to your own personality and preferences.

The routine aspect is important. I’ve been an early riser for many years, and a lover of mornings, but as of recent I’ve managed to create a list of things to fill those extra hours that are much more mindful, more energising than an aimless scroll through Instagram. Okay, the Instagramming is still there, but I try to make it constructive&controlled.

Honesty is important to this blog, so I am not going to sit here and say that I run half a marathon, get in my five a day, exfoliate my entire body and write a best-selling novel all before the clock strikes 7. The routine outlined below is realistic and works well for me, helping establish the foundations for a successful day without burning me out: a balance I worked hard on finding. Mornings do not have to be intense. However, a structure can bring many benefits, such as mental clarity and a productive approach to the day’s endeavours.

As a little disclaimer, I do not follow these steps every day. I adjust them in accordance with how I feel as flexibility is a value I will always abide to. However, an outline helps enormously in saving me from a feeling of disarray, a cluelessness regarding what to do with myself upon awakening, which carries a risk of spilling into the succeeding hours.

So, here is an overview of a typical morning in the life of Maria:

I wake up anywhere between 5 and 6:30, depending on when I must leave. The next five to ten minutes are dedicated to something which grounds me in the external world, ready to meet whatever challenges may arise. I avoid all technology and social media during this time, because stepping into the digital realm as soon as I open my eyes can disconnect me from my surroundings and lead to a sense of ‘drifting’ through the rest of the day, as opposed to engaging with it. If you haven’t tried it yet, I would recommend practicing mindfulness in the early hours: just pay attention to how your body is feeling, what signals its sending you, what emotions you’re experiencing. Sometimes, I do some reading, or sit with my cat and watch the skies lighten. Continue reading “My Morning Routine 2017: Healthy but Realistic”

Why I Stopped Wearing (heavy) Makeup.

Now, a post like this has to be prefaced by an emphasis on the fact that it outlines my experience and intends no disrespect towards make-up/those who wear it/particular brands. I still love reading beauty blogs and have by no means gone makeup free: in the pictures featured on this post I am wearing mascara and lipstick, and have a foundation routine for special occasions. Highlighter is still the perfect trick for whenever my face appears a bit two-dimensional. Yet, my current look is a significant change from the start of 2017. My everyday routine used to take an hour or more (as opposed to 0-15 minutes nowadays), included everything from contouring and Instagram eyebrows to layering three different lipsticks. So, why did I make this change and go from carrying out every YouTube tutorial on my face each morning to something a little bit (a lot) more lowkey?
Continue reading “Why I Stopped Wearing (heavy) Makeup.”

My Vegan Transition

Hi everyone! As you can tell, this post encompasses a huge part of my life: veganism and eating a plant-based diet, which my one year anniversary on the lifestyle encouraged me to write. I don’t remember my first completely meat – free day, but I know it was in early September 2015 and I still can’t quite believe that I’m doing something most people can’t fathom – because #mmmbacon (the sarcasm is strong, lol) and I’ve found it unbelievably easy. The hardest part is not whipping out my anger management issues whenever that avalanche of questions rolls towards me every time I tell someone I’m vegan (‘Where do you get your protein?’ ‘I don’t understand how you can give up cheese’ ‘But…but…lions eat meat!’). I’m not making this post to be super preachy and propagandise veganism (perhaps another time, hehe). I want to talk about my personal journey: what finally made me turn vegan and kinda how I did it. I will try and keep this short and sweet however as I have a tendency to ramble, a part two could present itself as a possibility.

Continue reading “My Vegan Transition”